Just like it was for a lot of people, this was never supposed to happen. If life was how it should have been? I would have been in Australia by now, watching the world from a seafront cafe window, writing away and conversing with a mask less waitress. I can imagine the conversation would go something like “oh you’re not from around here” and I’d respond “nope I’m from the other side of the world and I’ve just finished my nearly two years travels” and then I’d assume SHE wasn’t from around here either and she’d go on to tell me she was also on her working visa…
Sadly though, that’s my imagination running away from me. I got stuck in London visiting my family for my mother’s birthday in March. Australia locked their borders and I’m unsure how I’m going to return when it’s clear my visa will run out beforehand.
The first few months were hard. Unless you’ve been travelling, it might be difficult to understand the impact lockdown had on me. Not only was I trapped from a physical perspective, unable to have the freedom I’d been used to for so long, I was trapped from a mental perspective, suffocating under my Depression and Anxiety , panicking my Dad (who’s disabled) would catch the virus and it would all be my fault.
Every defence mechanism, every experience that strengthened me travelling solo came crashing down on my shoulders and I felt unable to breathe. It sounds ridiculous but I was more certain of my place in a random country than what my place was in my hometown. It can be hard to not judge yourself against fellow peers who are leading different lives, following societal norms and doing what’s expected of them. When you’ve gone from experiencing everything to doing nothing, thoughts are difficult to rationalise, it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s not.
Now that lockdown is lifting, restaurants and cafes have opened, shops are functioning and holidays are slowly being taken, life begins its new normal. It’s the done thing now to leave the house and think “Keys? Phone? Mask?” I still find it unbelievable. I’ve noticed a definite change in people I know and those I don’t. Ultimately this pandemic seems to have brought out the best and very worst of people, selfishness prevails, people think only of themselves and not of others. But for every person who has shown their true colours, you’ve got the people who really care and are kind, showcasing the best of humanity. You guys are angels.
I’ve always written during my travels – whether it’s itineraries or diary entries to keep track of my thoughts, and so with this time I’ve been given, I’ve decided to push everything behind my writing. I love writing – it’s not only therapeutic but beneficial to others in the same position, and I’m determined to make a career out of it that ALLOWS me to travel the world at the same time – whenever that will be. Writing gives other people the chance to travel with their mind, and in many ways, it’s been my escape. It’s allowed me to move, to reminisce and to globetrot without even leaving the house and I’m grateful for that.