Anxious

Dear Yuri,

At this moment, I am waiting for my online class to start. Isn’t it funny that I’m missing school when I used to hate it with all my heart?

Being alone during this time, gosh it has been so hard. I’m sorry to all my friends and family, my company must be awful, ’cause I cant even handle myself anymore.

My mind doesn’t stop. My anxiety has never been worse. I miss going to the church. I felt safe there.

At least I can play‚ Wasabi‚ on my guitar like Jade is singing with me. My imagination has been keeping me sane.

My Grandma has Alzheimer. Before going to the surgery room, my Grandpa told my Auntie to take care of her. He never came back. He knew he wouldn’t.And fuck, I miss him. Now in this self isolation thing, we can’t take care of her. We live 3 hours away from her house.

I miss her cakes, the ones she’d do only for me. I miss her. I miss the lunch she’d cook for us on Sunday. She can’t cook anymore. Not like she used to.

She still remembers me. But it freaks me out to think that one day she won’t.

I hope that everyone is doing all right. And I pray hard for the ones that lost their loved ones.

You are not alone.

Nicole, Jundiá, Brazil


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