Dented Furniture

Dear Yuri,

dry mouth, dried tear stains, headache from last night,
cried myself into a nightmare again waking up with a fright,
try to tell someone the truth about the things they do the words they say,
but none of these words that I can use describe the amount of pain,

of course they don’t believe me though because all I do is lie,
never could such emotional pain be caused by their little pride and joy.

this person belittles my every achievement,
always finds a way to cause disagreements,
humiliates me in front of a crowd,
or quietly mutters when I’m speaking aloud.

”fat cow”, ”waste of space”, ”just go kill yourself”,
every little worry I had confirmed by someone else,
afraid to answer back because I know what happened before,
and ”if I give it attention it will only happen more”,

a bang of the furniture from another room I know it’s time to hide,
shouting, sounds of breaking, faking laughs to pretend I don’t mind,
turn off the internet, take my phone, I’m told to just ignore it,
close my door when they get mad so I won’t pay the forfeit,

nobody defends me, I end up getting the blame,
payback could be useful if it didn’t ignite the flame,
mornings, afternoons and evenings hiding out in bed,
wish I could go home and forget about everything they said.

Ciara, Dublin, Ireland


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