As horrible as this world has become,
Becoming difficult for the young to run,
A certain comfort has come from being home,
Unlike the fear that began swirling around Rome,
While physical presence has become quite scarce,
Friends, family and neighbours find out who really cares.
Stay home they say, and I obliged,
Taking all this alone time in my stride,
Being home seems scarily comfortable,
It’s going back to normal that makes me inconsolable,
I feel guilt.
Guilt that I am not thankful to be busy,
That my family in Ireland can’t even go to the city,
Guilty for being unhappy when seeing friends,
Time without them has been some sort of cleanse.
Anxiety, sleepless nights.
I’m floating above watching myself smile,
But I haven’t felt pure happiness in quite a while,
As soon as lockdown is over,
It will be back to a busy October,
I’m grateful for this time alone,
Time to do nothing but watch YouTube on my phone,
But how will I deal with life when life does return,
This will be a skill I will need to re-learn.
Life in lockdown is the one for me,
But it is really not what we all need.
We continue on yet another day,
Restrictions easing, people shouting hooray,
But I do not.
I fear and I worry,
My feelings will have to be hidden once again.
The normal world goes overwhelmingly fast,
But don’t you fear, I will not be left in the past.
I am strong, I am confident and I am not done yet,
My anxiety won’t take me down,
Positive mindsets I won’t forget,
These comfortable walls in which I live,
Don’t define how big my life is,
I have so much more ahead of myself I believe,
And to accomplish dreams I’m itching to achieve:
I must not only survive, but I WILL thrive.
Having a full schedule may be small for another,
But in my eyes that thought makes me shudder,
The achievement of being busy,
It won’t be an easy task for Izzi.